Nervous

I'm sitting here making myself sick with nervousness. Tonight is another belt test at the dojo. Nathaniel will be testing also. He's sitting here nonchalantly smacking away at lunch totally unconcerned while I'm trying to choke something down so I don't pass out tonight :) Ug, nothing sounds good. I'm so nervous because I'm not as prepared for this one. I don't feel I've got my kata down. Totally my fault for waiting until this week to practice it like crazy. I don't feel I've picked up much more from my training either and that has me frustrated. I can't get over my fear of kicking my opponent and them seeing it in time to sweep my other leg. Since I have hurt my neck twice now on the same back throw I'm a little nervous about going over backward. I have to leave my other leg unprotected when I kick, especially anything higher then the thigh and I just don't like it. Sensei wants me to practice head kicks while I'm sparring. HAHA. I just laughed at her. For one, not that flexible yet and another, I'm just not fast enough. Sigh. But if I want to move on to the higher belts I'm going to have to do more then just punch and the occasional roundhouse to the other person's thigh. I practiced a different kick over and over last night on Rob. He's so good to me :) He just held one of our couch cushions while I did a spinning back kick over and over and over on him until I almost fell over from gettting dizzy! Now, if I can just do it tonight while sparring that would be great :) So, anyway just sitting here making myself sick :) LOL One of the other students just laughs at me cause she's like It's just a blue belt. Yeah, just a blue belt, with a room full of people watching you spar someone else. Ug. Maybe I could ask everyone to step outside LOL!!